#ALWAYS SEND ME LOSCAR THOUGHTS! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

unformula1 · 6 months ago

Note

loscar prompt!: them with tis the damn season by taylor swift

’tis the damn season (LS2 x OP81)

oscar comes back to his hometown, with a regret he can’t find closure to. w/c: 3402 day 41 of loscar posts until we get a loscar podium! (series masterlist) masterlist title from a taylor swift song a/n: HI! whoever gave me this, if this isn’t what you wanted PLEASE do not be afraid to reach out and ask for a rewrite lol!!!

Oscar drives down the street he used to walk past every day. The town he used to call home seems a little emptier now. It’s freezing, which fogs up his car windshield glass, turning it a foggy, translucent colour.

He gets out of his car after parking it, deciding to go for a stroll.

Oscar can’t remember the last time he came back here, it had probably been a few years. He throws on his coat and walks down the sidewalk, as he lifts his head, a familiar face comes into view.

Oscar avoids eye contact as he walks past, keeping his head down as he walks past him. It sends a shiver down his spine as he walks past; even with his jacket an eerie cold engulfs his body.

An ache covers his heart. Oscar wants to say something. He can’t.

He swiftly walks past, trying his best to suppress the flashbacks that keep coming back as the familiar perfume clings onto his jacket after walking past him.

Oscar can’t do this. He takes off, bolting as far as he can. He feels the eyes on him, piercing into his soul.

Oscar remembers everything. He remembers it all.

—

“You promised.” Logan says, an obvious attempt to hide his tears, “You said you wouldn’t go.”

“Logan. I know, but it’s a really big opportunity for me.” Oscar tries to reason, with both Logan and himself.

“You said you’d wait for me.” Logan continues, a pool of tears brimming in his eyes.

“Logan… I will.” Oscar almost feels like he’s gaslighting himself right now.

“We should’ve been going together.” Logan cries, a heavy emphasis on ‘together’.

“Logan please-” Oscar gets cut off as Logan runs out through the door.

That was the last time they ever talked. Oscar didn’t even bother going back to apologise. He just left… like the jerk he was.

—

When the coast is clear, Oscar walks back to his car, quickly getting in without being seen.

He takes a deep breath and leans back against his car seat.

He quickly starts up his car and drives further into the city, something in his body wants him to leave but he isn’t ready to leave yet.

He reaches somewhere nearer to the city, it has cafes, restaurants, libraries. It’s a simple life, which Oscar will admit he misses sometimes.

He gets out of his car, walking on a sidewalk which he vividly remembers used to be a mud path. They’ve really refurbished the place.

As he strolls around the place, looking back on the places he used to visit so often, and the people he used to always talk to.

Oscar can’t help but feel a wave of nostalgia hit him.

“Oscar?” his voice rings through and Oscar stones.

Oscar slowly turns around and comes face to face with the person he used to know and love.

He’s grown a lot by now, stubble and all. He’s definitely taller and slightly more buff, guess he’s been working out.

He’s so much more… matured.

One thing hasn’t changed. His smile.

It’s still… perfect. The smile that Oscar always loved, the things Oscar would do to see that smile forever. He missed that smile, he’s been missing that smile.

“Hi.” Oscar says as he gulps.

“I didn’t know you were coming back.” He smiles.

“Yea… uhm, well. Here I am.” Oscar manages. He’s not used to being this awkward.

“You have anywhere to stay?”

“My parents.”

“Cool.”

“I gotta… uhm head off.” Oscar says as he quickly walks past him and back into the car.

Oscar drives off.

He turns on the radio, hoping the music would dissolve his thoughts.

They don’t.

Everything they used to do together comes back. They stay afloat, no matter how much Oscar tries to push them down.

All the moments they shared, the memories they had.

The inevitable question finally surfaces in Oscar’s head.

Who replaced me?

“Shut up.” Oscar mutters to himself as he turns into his parents’ house driveway.

Stepping out, he’s greeted with a multitude of hugs. He chuckles as he returns the hugs to his parents.

“Ozzie!” His parents’ affectionate nickname.

They bring him into the house, letting him place his bags down.

“I’ll go get the cookies.” His mother says, “Make yourself comfortable.”

Oscar walks to the display case, it’s probably all really old stuff. It is.

It’s photos of young Oscar with young Logan. They’re happy, innocent, naive. Oscar places his hand on the display cabinet, slightly grazing his hands over the photo.

They were just teenagers when Oscar left like that, how horrible it must’ve been on Logan.

All those memories, the moments they shared, the experiences they shared, everything they shared just shattered to pieces because Oscar was too afraid to face his nightmares.

The road not taken looks real good now.

Oscar feels a wave of regret wash over him. As much as he hates it, he remembers everything all too well, crystal clear in his head.

“He’s not mad at you anymore.” His mother says.

“What?” Oscar asks as he turns around, quickly wiping the tears off.

“I don’t think Logan’s mad at you for leaving like that anymore.”

“He isn’t?” Oscar steps closer.

His mother just shrugs.

Oscar takes one of the cookies from the plate and eats it. He takes a seat on the couch, staring into blank space.

His mother sets the plate of cookies in front of him and sits next to him.

“You should talk to him.”

“I can’t.” Oscar mutters, “I just can’t. I betrayed him, I can’t just go up to him again.”

“Logan won’t hold grudges.”

“He doesn’t look like he does, but I know he holds them close to his heart.” Oscar rants, “I know he doesn’t just ‘recover’ from me leaving without saying goodbye properly.”

Oscar’s mother places one hand on his shoulder.

“Logan hates me.”

His mother takes a deep breath before revealing.

“Logan hasn’t found anyone else.”

Oscar almost freezes.

“He hasn’t gotten any new best friends or… anything like that.” She says, “It’s always been ‘I’ll be waiting for when Oscar comes back’.”

“What?”

“Logan hasn’t replaced you.”

“He hasn’t?”

His mother shakes her head.

Oscar doesn’t know what to think.

“Still has those photos of you two.” His mother says.

He does?

“I’ll talk to him… soon.” Oscar says. He doesn’t know when “soon” is but he knows it’s going to happen.

—

Oscar wakes up at 11am. It’s probably the latest he’s woken up in a few years. He looks into the ceiling.

He spent half his night thinking about Logan, thinking about him and Logan. He misses Logan’s smile, more than ever.

It takes him pretty long to get his morning routine out of the way before he goes down for food.

“You should go out for lunch.” His mother suggests, “Explore the city a little.”

Oscar nods as he picks out an apple and chews it.

He grabs his stuff and walks out the door, bidding goodbye first before walking toward the city. He’s decided not to use his car.

He reaches the city centre in a few minutes, it’s packed and busy. Oscar just brisk walks around the centre, finding somewhere which looks appetising.

God forbid he gets any peace because he runs into Logan almost immediately.

“Good morning.” Logan waves.

Oscar awkwardly flashes a smile, “Hello.”

“Where you headin’ to?”

“Finding somewhere to eat.” Oscar tries to maintain his calm composure.

Logan nods and smiles, “Okay.”

“Want to join me?” Oscar blurts.

Wait. What.

Oscar takes a few seconds to process the fact that he just invited Logan out for lunch.

Logan smiles, “Sure. Why not.”

Damn.

“Do you know anywhere nice?” Oscar smiles, “Haven’t been here in a while.”

Wow. What a horrible joke.

Logan’s smile clearly falters for a bit.

“I know somewhere.” Logan says, bringing Oscar to a restaurant.

It’s not any diner, it’s the one where Oscar brought Logan out.

Oscar can feel his heart clench.

“I remember this.” Oscar chuckles, but the chuckle feels forced.

Logan nods and opens the door for Oscar, letting him walk in first… just like Oscar did.

Both of them sit opposite each other at a table.

Oscar clears his throat, in an effort to disperse the tension building up… or maybe it might be just him.

“I’m sorry.” Oscar says softly.

Logan looks up from the menu, smiling slightly.

“I shouldn’t have left like that.” Oscar continues, the flashbacks replaying vividly, “It was a dick move.”

“It’s okay.” Logan says back.

“No.” Oscar takes a deep breath, “Please.”

Logan places the menu down as Oscar reaches for his hand.

Logan doesn’t shift his hand away, he lets Oscar touch it.

“I’m really sorry.” Oscar holds Logan’s hand, “I destroyed your life.”

Logan shakes his head as he holds Oscar’s hand.

“I’m happy for you Osc.”

Osc.

“I’ll pay for your lunch.” Oscar says, “Least I could do.”

“We can call it even then.” Logan jokes.

It’s a good joke but Oscar can’t bring himself to laugh, he doesn’t really know if Logan has gotten over it or not.

—

When their food arrives, Oscar’s too preoccupied staring at Logan to start eating. Logan hasn’t changed at all.

All Oscar sees is that small teenager which Oscar destroyed in seconds.

Oscar feels like crying, he can feel the tears brimming.

Oscar circles his food with his fork, not eating any of it.

“Are you not hungry?” Logan asks.

“I’m… thinking.” Oscar says.

The years in the spotlight changed Oscar, for the better or for the worse.

“Of?” Logan inquires further.

Oscar can’t form a reply, so he just shrugs.

Oscar doesn’t get many moments to think, he sort of just goes with the flow. Everything’s so fast paced and it all sometimes blurs. Nothing feels real out there, all his “friends” are really just people who will leech off him when he becomes famous.

He’s faked so many smiles, he doesn’t know which ones are real anymore.

Logan shrugs back before placing his hand over Oscar’s clenched fist “Well, you should eat.”

Oscar smiles. This one is real, he knows it.

Logan hasn’t changed.

The lunch ends quicker than Oscar would like.

“Do you… maybe want to eat together for dinner too?” Oscar asks as he walks out the diner with Logan.

Logan nods, “Sure.”

“Where do you stay, I’ll come pick you.” Oscar asks.

“Same place.” Logan replies.

Oscar almost freezes.

“Still… down the street?” Oscar asks and Logan nods.

“5pm.” Logan says, “I’ll be waiting.”

Logan bids Oscar farwell, giving him a pat on the shoulder and a slight hug before running off.

Oscar can feel his entire face flush red. He’s missed Logan. Everyone else in the world couldn’t compare.

He runs home.

—

Oscar is left with his thoughts for a few hours.

Logan’s not changed, everything else has changed, Oscar feels his heart beat faster every time anything reminds him of Logan.

They used to be in love. It can’t be happening again… right?

Oscar hasn’t felt love in a long time, since everything comes and goes so quickly, nothing is really constant, which includes anyone he’s ever tried to date.

Oscar doesn’t understand his own feelings anymore.

He’s only coming back for a week, he can’t possibly get together again and then break his heart again.

Oscar doesn’t get it.

He hates that he doesn’t get it.

—

5pm inches closer and Oscar has never spent this long deciding on an outfit.

He decides to go with casual wear, which is a sweater and long baggy pants. He grabs his stuff and walks out the door to his car.

He starts it up and drives off Logan's house.

It takes him a few minutes to get there. As he approaches, he sees Logan waiting by the sidewalk. It’s just like they used to do, except Oscar’s mum would be the one driving.

In Oscar’s eyes, Logan is still the teenager Oscar destroyed.

Logan gets into the front seat, right next to Oscar.

Oscar smiles as Logan gets in.

“Anywhere you’d like to go?” Oscar asks as he drives.

“Go somewhere, get takeout, sit by the lake and eat.” Logan says.

Oscar can swear Logan is playing with his heart. These are all the things Oscar would do with Logan.

Oscar nods.

“Okay.”

They get takeout and stop by the lake, both of them sitting on the trunk of Oscar’s car.

They eat in silence for a while, Oscar catches the occasional glance at Logan. The orange glow of the sunset makes Logan sparkle.

Oscar shifts closer to Logan and Logan notices it.

“How’s it been?” Logan asks, placing his food next to him.

“It’s…” Oscar thinks, “Been okay.”

Logan nods, “Mine too.”

Oscar knows it’s now or never, “I’ve missed this.”

Logan raises an eyebrow.

“I can’t stop thinking about how I left you.”

Logan nods subtly.

“It’s horrible, it’s been haunting me.” Oscar looks into the sunset, “Believe me I’ve been looking for closure everywhere, nothing has given it to me.”

“And what will?”

“I don’t know… but it still is.” Oscar can’t believe he’s admitting all of this.

Everything Oscar has done just led back to Logan and this stupid place. Oscar’s attempts at finding closure have failed miserably, each making him yearn for it more and more.

Logan nudges himself closer to Oscar and pulls Oscar’s head into his chest. Oscar can feel his cheeks heating up as his heart picks up the pace and butterflies flutter in his stomach.

Oscar sobs.

Logan continues hugging Oscar.

“Logan please…” Oscar says as he hugs Logan back tightly.

“I forgive you Oscar.” Logan says, “I’ve missed you too.”

“I still love you…” Oscar whispers.

Logan nods, which is a sign for Oscar to hug Logan tighter.

“I’ll be yours for this week.” Oscar says and Logan smiles.

“I’ll fix everything.” Oscar says between soft sobs.

Logan pulls Oscar back in.

A few minutes pass and Oscar finally gains back his ability to speak in full sentences.

“What now?” Logan asks.

“We could… go for a drive, in my car… and talk about life.”

Logan smiles and nods, hopping off the trunk. Both of them get into the car and Oscar drives off.

He can’t help but catch a glance at Logan every opportunity he gets. Logan’s never looked better.

Everything brought him back to Logan. Everything he’s tried made him yearn for Logan again.

Now he’s got him back (for the week).

—

“Stay with me for tonight?” Logan suggests.

Oscar nods as he texts his mum about his updated night plans, he quickly drives home to get his clothes and all.

After that, they continue driving around for a bit as Logan talks about how he’s been and all Oscar’s focusing on is Logan’s little smile he has every time he says anything.

Oscar feels Logan’s head fall onto his shoulder and he melts. He feels like a teenager all over again, he’s reignited some old spark which he’s tried to hide for years.

When they finally reach Logan’s house, they both prepare for bed as the night sky gets darker.

Logan throws another pillow onto his bed for Oscar and Oscar feels like his legs might just fail him at any moment. At least Logan will catch him.

They both get onto the bed and Oscar feels like he’s in high school again. He shifts closer to Logan and feels Logan’s warm arms wrapping around him.

Logan pulls Oscar closer in and they hug. The warmest bed ever, the warmest hug ever. For so many years, he’s been hugging but they’ve all been cold and emotionless.

He missed Logan’s hug. He missed Logan’s touch.

“I’ve missed this.” Oscar whispers as Logan chuckles softly. He feels Logan’s warm breath graze his skin.

Oscar melts.

“Goodnight.” Oscar says.

“Goodnight babe.” Logan says and Oscar feels his heart pound against his ribcage.

“You too Logs.”

—

It’s 11am again when Oscar wakes up. It’s his best night since he left Logan.

“I should’ve never left.” Oscar says groggily as he hugs Logan’s waist.

Logan woke up hours ago but stayed with Oscar.

Oscar doesn’t deserve this, he cuddles with Logan. Logan lets him do his thing while chuckling softly.

This is teenage love all over again.

“I don’t ever want to leave.” Oscar mumbles.

“Then don’t.” Logan says.

Oscar wants that too, but he knows he can’t break Logan’s heart a second time. He’s not willing to, he knows Logan deserves so much better.

Teenage love burns strong like tinder, but it’ll burn out fast.

They’ll fall apart again and Oscar will break Logan all over again.

“Can’t.” Oscar says.

The mood of the room darkens but Logan just smiles and chuckles.

“I know, baby.” Logan sighs but still keeping a smile, “I know.”

—

The week is filled with emotional nostalgia, Oscar brought Logan out every day to every place, to fix every scar and to heal every wound.

They kissed in the moonlight, in the sunset. Oscar made sure he didn’t drop Logan’s heart again.

“I’ve always loved you.” Logan says, “I never stopped.”

Oscar can feel time slow down and everything else becomes irrelevant.

“You never stopped?” Oscar says softly, and Logan nods.

“I never did either.” Oscar smiles.

“Love you.” Logan says.

Everything closed up properly, their chapters ending on high notes and the pages not burning up.

The emotional baggage was dropped where they left them.

Long story short, they re-lived all their moments, but Oscar made sure he didn’t mess up the end this time.

Here was the end.

Oscar throws his luggage into his car’s trunk. The week passed by just like that.

“It’s time to go.” Logan says, giving Oscar a slight nudge as Oscar closes the trunk of his car.

Oscar smiles, it’s bittersweet. Logan smiles at him, as Oscar holds back his tears.

“Osc.” Logan says and Oscar looks up, “I won’t ask you to wait for me anymore.”

Oscar knows what this means to both of them.

“Then I won’t ask you to stay here for me.” Oscar replies.

It feels like the final end, the chapter which Oscar had always needed to write but couldn’t. The words in the final paragraph which always stabbed Oscar.

“Follow me to the exit.” Oscar says and Logan agrees.

Oscar’s family joins them.

Oscar drives to the exit of the town, passing through a place which used to haunt him and the place where he first saw Logan, where the ache was ever so present in his heart.

Oscar feels Logan’s hand touch his shoulder and Oscar holds back the tears.

As they approach the exit, Oscar’s family and Logan exit the car. Oscar bids his final farewells to them. Oscar’s mother winks at Oscar before giving him and Logan time.

“I’ll miss you.” Oscar admits.

“I’ll miss you too.” Logan replies.

Logan places both his hands on Oscar’s shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.

“Don’t forget me again. You have my number now.” Logan chuckles.

“I won’t…” Oscar replies, he shuffles his feet.

“Goodbye Oscar.” Logan says, hugging him tightly.

“I never thought I’d get a goodbye.” Oscar says, tears flowing out.

Logan chuckles and kisses Oscar’s forehead.

“Goodbye Logs.”

Oscar turns around and he feels a sting in his heart, like he wants to stay.

He gets into his car.

His life will continue, he’s closed the chapter for this, he’s gotten his closure with Logan.